Being Present in the Here and Now

This week, my brother called—a rarity that made me pause and take stock. We talked about Dad, about his age and health, and about how quickly time feels like it’s slipping by. Dad’s 84th birthday is just around the corner, and my brother and I floated the idea of meeting halfway for a late lunch or early dinner to get Dad out of the house, to do something meaningful together.

The Weight of Time

Conversations like this feel heavy, not because of any specific conflict, but because they remind me of the uncertainties ahead. Dad’s age and his increasing need for care are a quiet, constant reminder of how life is changing. My brother mentioned asking Dad if he’d talked to me recently. Dad mumbled a “no,” and I felt a pang—guilt, sadness, maybe a mix of both.

We discussed the things we could do to make the most of the time we have. Maybe we’ll play cribbage—a game we used to enjoy together. It’s simple, familiar, and comforting, a small way to rekindle the connection we’ve let sit quietly for too long.

Facing Sensitivities Together

Dad’s protective nature over his finances came up, too—a topic we both tread around carefully. It’s sensitive, layered, and feels like walking a tightrope of respect and practicality. I encouraged my brother to get more involved in Dad’s doctor appointments, to be there for the little things that often go unsaid but mean so much. We both know how much he values his independence, but we also know how much he needs us, even if he’d never admit it outright.

Choosing Presence Over the Past

The truth is, my brother and I have had our differences. Years of misunderstanding, distance, and unspoken hurt could easily create a wall between us. But in this moment, none of that seemed to matter. What mattered was that we were both here, reaching out, trying. We didn’t dwell on the past or rehash old grievances. Instead, we chose to be present—fully, intentionally, and simply.

Being present doesn’t erase the past, but it allows space for something new to grow. It means showing up, even when it’s uncomfortable or uncertain, and choosing connection over pride.

Moving Forward

As we plan for Dad’s birthday, I’m reminded that these moments—however small—are what truly count. It’s not about grand gestures or perfect plans; it’s about showing up for each other, about creating memories that matter, and about holding space for connection despite the complexities of life.

If I’ve learned anything this week, it’s that being present is the most powerful thing we can offer—to ourselves, to our loved ones, and to the moments we don’t want to slip away.